about this site
tbf i don't really know why i created this website. i was bored and wanted something to do. i also really like the geocities websites from the late 90s (especially the ones from the area 51 neighborhood) and wanted to create my own. i also wanted a place to express myself without the risk of anyone i know seeing it, and if they see it they won't even recognise me.
in this page i'll share opinions on stuff, small blogs/journals, things i like and, in the future, i might even add pictures i've taken. it'll also be kinda like a little art project, decorating everything as i please. and that's about it for now, though i'll prolly add more in the future.
about me
"Mine has been a life of much shame. I can't even guess myself what it must be to live the life of a human being." Ever since I was a child I have felt there was something wrong with me. I felt as if I was lacking some basic human trait, as if I wasn't fully human. I cannot remember faces: not the ones of people I know, not my family's, not even my own. I cannot imagine faces. I cannot recognise people solely by their face. I have never felt love for any real person. I have never felt romantic, sexual, platonic or even familial love. I have never felt hatred either. I can dislike people, but I have never been able to bring myself to feel such a strong thing as hate. I have never been able to connect with people. Every single time I have tried to make friends, it felt as if there were some invisible barrier between me and them. I have always felt different from everyone else. Not in a "weird kid who likes niche things" kind of way. But as if there was something fundamentally different about me. Something that made me not fully human. I have always longed for a friend or some sort of connection, but I have never been able to get it. I am asexual, that will never change (and I hope so). But I am also, unfortunately, aromantic. I hope this will change someday. For what is the point of life if you cannot even feel the most basic and universal of human emotions? I say this not for you to pity me, but because I believe it is important for you to have some sort of understanding of the person who created this website.
